Resolutions are cliché, and seldom make it to February.
This is a companion article to ‘Keep Your Bar High: The Best Advice I Know’
New Year’s eve is fast approaching. A time to reflect on the past year, and look forward to 2024. We’ll think of things we can do a little better, or a lot better.
Many of us will make grand plans for the next year. Perhaps you are finally going to get regular exercise, quit smoking, or read more books and scroll Facebook less. All reasonable asks of ourselves. A New Year’s resolution should do the trick, to get us where we want to be.
However, by February first, most of our resolutions will be pushed aside, if not completely forgotten. They will get buried under an avalanche of convenient reasons and questionable excuses.
According to Stava research (1), 91 percent of resolutions will fail. Most by Jan 19, given the name “Quitter’s Day,” by the research company.
The truth is, most of our resolutions are doomed from the start, because they depend on us changing our habits. Habits that have formed over the years, and are deeply engrained in us.
Habits that we deem as ‘need changing’, are usually the more enjoyable habits in our life, or at least the easier of our habits. Sitting on the couch takes zero energy and effort. Going to the gym takes lots of energy and effort.
So we fail to keep our resolutions, and often feel guilty about it for a while.
Here’s a better idea. Don’t do resolutions.
Check your bar instead.
That’s right. Check your bar. From the ‘Don’t Settle’ article, “Your bar is the standard of what you will accept from yourself; and by extension, your relationships, your co-workers, and anyone else. It’s a reflection of who you are.”
Keep your bar high.
The new year is the perfect time to evaluate our bar, and adjust accordingly.
Your bar is not really a goal, but how we will conduct ourselves to reach our goal. There are no numbers assigned here. A big reason resolutions fail are the daunting numbers we assign them.
We should be evaluating our bar for all facets of our lives. Professionally, with our relationships, and in our day-to-day lives. It’s not something that needs to take a lot of time. A moment of personal reflection is all it takes, perhaps during a walk in the cool winter air.
Keeping our bar high is essential to a successful year, and beyond. What we expect from ourselves matters. How we treat people, and how we expect to be treated, are reflections of where we have our bar set. The respect we command is directly to the standards we set for ourselves.
Your bar can be set too high. Expecting perfection from ourselves is unrealistic, and will surely lead to madness. A lower adjustment is required. This is not a bad thing. The point is to keep your bar realistic. There is zero point in lying to oneself.
Our bars will move over time, both up and down, usually as a matter of convenience. The key is not settling for a lower bar, but keeping our bar high, where we want it to be. This requires an honest evaluation.
“Did I keep my standards high or did I allow my bar to drop?” It’s not something we often think of. Which is why it’s important to give our bar, our standards, a few minutes of our time to assess and adjust.
This year, my bar is in a good spot. Mostly. It’s been a tough two years of major change. The bar for my writing quality is constantly moving north, and it should, as I write more and become better at the craft. I do need to write more, and post more often. I’m working on it.
In honour of my wife, I want to ‘be a better me.’ I’ve always been good with supporting causes financially. The food bank, girl guide cookies, Rotary calendars, and so many other worthy causes have received my support. My local hospital, that took such good care of my wife, will always get a Christmas donation.
I can do more to be a better citizen. People with less free time than I have manage to donate some of their time, and so should I. So that bar needs to be adjusted higher. Because I can. Not because I have to. There are way too many hungry people. That’s where I will look for volunteering opportunities. I know my time will be appreciated.
Raising my bar is going to very rewarding.
Thank you for reading this far. I wish you and yours a wonderful 2024. Cheers!
(1) Marcel Schwantes, ‘Studies show 91 percent of us won’t achieve our new year’s resolutions,’ Jan 8, 2022.
